Thoughts, Reflections and Stories

One must have chaos in oneself to give birth to a dancing star...
Massoud Abbasi

Trafficking with your Higher Self

              Somewhere within you there is a much better version of you. Within everyone for that matter. There are parts to everything, even ourselves. There are many aspects to our mind and body but some are more primary than others. In the great many feelings, thoughts and actions that a person experiences which is most representative of who and what we truly are? Which emotion, thought or action best captures our true nature or reality? Every single person asks this oldest of questions of themselves: Who am I? Indeed, who are you? What are you? Where are you going? Can anyone really answer these questions? They are difficult questions to answer because no person is one particular thought, action or feeling but a multitude of them, and they are often varying and changing. Just as the outward appearance of a tree may be purely aesthetic for us, we are seldom mindful of the fact that its primary purpose is simply to recycle carbon and produce oxygen. This purpose is much more primary than its splendour and beauty and the calm it brings to our eyes and souls when we nestle under it on a warm summer day, or climb onto it as children. Such it is with us, with man, we see, feel and live mostly with the aesthetic and sensual aspect of who and what we are, seldom capturing that more nuanced, more subtle, more hidden part of us which rises to the surface every now and again like a whale in the deep who surfaces on rare occasions to glance at the world above. And like the whale this other part of us instead often rests deep within the depths of the ocean of our soul and being. Yet despite the fact that it seldom comes up for air, it is there, always. Somewhere deep within the heart and soul of man rests this greater ‘Self’of ours, this better version and for one reason or another we traffic with it so little because it is too powerful and unruly a beast to grapple with. It overwhelms us. It scares us. What if this great whale of human ‘Being’ could be brought to the surface however and kept there just long enough for us to recognize it and converse with it, what would that to do us, what would that mean for us?

            Our species is distinct and separate from all other species on this beautiful planet by virtue of our constant longing for something more, something higher, something further. This longing and pursuit is greatest in the earlier years and seems to wane with age as habit and obligations settle in, but it is always there, however hidden or out of sight. It is the same reason why we are one and all so universally drawn to bodies of water, to the lakes, seas and oceans of this magnificent home of ours. We long for the deep and great which we know is there, just beyond the initial tides and waves. It is so near, yet so far, just like our higher self. Of course our longing for the great blue deep is ancient and fundamental. We sprang from it after all, it is the very womb of life. Yet there is something even more profound at play here in this universal dance between man and ocean, man and sea. Why is it that we can stand before a great body of water and look upon it with immense love and attraction yet profound fear and trepidation? Why is it that we move forward towards that which our heart and soul longs for and allow the tide to sweep in and cover our feet yet we are not be able to trek any deeper in? Do we not wish to immerse ourselves in our beloved wholly? And if we do immerse ourselves in the water we seldom go out further then a few metres into her bosom before the great blue expanse ahead draws our respect and humbles us with its power and glory forcing us back to the safety of the shore, the safety of what we know and are accustomed to, land. It is the same with our higher self, our better self. We know it is there, just beyond and further ahead but it too humbles us with its profoundness and power. Often a glimpse of it is like a dip in the ocean up to our waists, it is just enough. We fear going any deeper into this part of ourselves for the possibility and power it retains is enormous and we are ill suited to bear such weight. Have you ever stood still on a beach, your feet sunk into soft, sweet sand, the dust of a million dried up shells and recycled fish and stared at the ocean or sea washing in tide and wave after tide and wave as you listen to the very sound of existence and wonder to yourself why you could not just be at one with it all, why you cannot be who and what you know deep down you truly are or want to be? I am sure that every single human being has this thought and feeling each and every time they find themselves in this very position and place, and at other times and places too. In that very moment, do you not think to yourself “ah, yes, this is it, this moment is my life and it is mine to bear, conquer and exalt.” Do you not feel incredibly at peace and in control, powerful and independent if even for a brief few moments while you look on only to eventually turn around and walk away and slowly have that incredible feeling slowly evaporate like a phantom that has come and gone like the wind? And does it not leave you wondering why it never stays long after? Of course you do, and you are not alone in thinking as such. I’m certain that every single human being thinks and feels this way before such greatness, before such lofty morsels of existence. And it need not necessarily come from the Ocean or Sea alone. This feeling may be brought upon by a great passage or poem, a beautiful song or composition, a scene from a favourite movie. It could come from a moment in a dream when all seems in order and life is being served to your liking. It could come from a brief exchange or smile or gesture of affection from another soul which you fancy. It could even come from a single transitory thought, a lucid idea that you have alone with yourself for even a brief second which leaves you looking upon the world and thinking and feeling: “Ah, yes, that’s it, that’s right, that is how it should and must be, and from now and moving forward  this is how it will be for me.” And as quickly as you have had this insight and feeling wash upon your being, a moment later it washes away from you just like the tide, receding once again into the vast expanse of life’s ocean and getting lost within its depths leaving you in awe at just how generous and yet miserly life can be. One moment it is tantalizing and glorious, the next it is vapid and empty. Life demands our respect in this fashion for it can giveth and taketh in equal proportions and sometimes it does so with such a ferocious pace that we are left breathless. Truly she demands our respect and we must honour her for it.

            Why is it all as such anyhow, we all ask at one point or another? Why does the higher self only show itself so sparingly, in brief episodes and infrequent intervals? Why can we not be often as we are in those moments of higher being when we seem so sure of ourselves, calm, happy, confident, prideful, independent, fearless and cognizant of our immense power and potential? Surely it is not an unreal thing, for if it can be felt in the body and imagined in the mind it can and must exist somewhere outside of it in the real world. We must be grasping this higher self from somewhere after all, from some experience and if not ours then someone else’s whom we’ve witnessed, seen or heard about. The frame of reference for things does not necessarily always have to be ourselves. This is why we humans are so drawn to fame and hero worship because we all have a personal hero or famous individual, whether contemporary or historical, which we wish to emulate and who represents for us the highest ideal of human life and what we might become, sadly often could have become. These individuals often pose for us a personal dilemma which we seldom share with others. They represent for us the potential that rests within our very own selves but a potential that for one reason or another we secretly feel incapable of attaining, but deep down know is possible to attain. If only we could connect with our higher being and tap into the great reservoir of power latent in each and every single one of us, we could attain anything. Do we not after all dream our dreams in our sleep almost nightly? We seldom tell others about these dreams, dreams in which we are great, in which we are accomplished at the highest levels in our respective professions, in which we have a love life that the great poets could write about or  in which we have the influence and intellect of the greats who move whole nations and shift whole eras. These dreams and musings of ours do not come from nothing and nowhere after all. Nothing comes from nothing and everything comes from something. The first thinkers and philosophers concluded this simple truth long ago. Where hence do these visions of self-greatness that you and I have sparingly come from? They come from within. All great things come from within. They arise from the higher self with which we traffic with less and less as we grow. It seemed much easier as a child than it does now as an adult. We pine for this self more and more now but it seems often to be getting further and further away. If indeed it resides within us at all still, this other, better version of us, then why does it seem so difficult to capture it, to bring it forth, to allow it to be our representative to the world and not the self that represents us now which is merely a shadow of this other great 'Us'? No one can answer this question but themselves, however one thing seems evident about it all. This other, better, higher self of ours is hard to bring forth and exhibit because it is simply too powerful to handle. Its overwhelming power scares us and so we cast it aside and seek out comfort and settle for the average self instead. This happens the world over and to most of us. Some however, those greats within our world, those few who shape times and nations, whose imprint is left in books and music, in science and technology, they have catapulted this fear aside and laid to ruin their very being in pursuit of their greater ‘Being’, in pursuit of their greater ‘Self’ and just look at all the marvels that they have accomplished in so doing. The Einstein's, the Shakespeare's, the Steve Jobs's and the Nelson Mandela's of our world, these were men who learned how to traffic with their higher self more and more often as they grew and lived. Great as they were, who is to say how many other greats are possible amongst us if only we too could traffic regularly with our higher self? Maybe you? Maybe someone within your family, a friend, a colleague? The potential for greatness rests in each and every one of us. Cliche as that may sound, it is absolutely true. Just study all the greats and see how many of them came from nothing. None of the latter were born brilliant, it was a process they undertook over a long period of time that created their genius. Pearl's are produced by many years of sand slipping through the thin opening of the shell which slowly files the rough rock in the middle into the stunning jewel it becomes. Why then still is it so difficult to consult with this higher power of ours if it is so accessible? Why is she so rare a visitor, so elusive, so enigmatic, so evasive? Nature furnishes us with an answer I believe, and this answer is always found in the beginning, in the first things. What makes the great bodies of water so universally beautiful and alluring to all of us humans? Why are we so drawn to the oceans and to the seas of this beautiful and magical world?  Simply because they are fearless and they are free. In other words, they are careless.

            Is it not one of the most splendid experiences when you are on a beach laid bare with your body facing the great blue ahead and above the great Sun beaming down with its strength and vigor as if just for you, whose reflection on the water creates a million sparkles of light which are reflected by the undulating waves. Which individual is not moved by such an experience and left breathless, unable to find words to speak it into truth. The most beautiful and profound things are after all felt, not spoken, received and not obtained. Why in this instant do we feel a higher level of being? Why at this juncture can we all traffic with our higher self and rise above the realm of the average one? What can we learn from this great beast and body of water? What is her secret? She is fearless, and fearlessness is really and truly only carelessness. This is her simple and great secret and truth, she is careless. Her nature is to be fluid and whole, carelessly waving up and down, to and fro, in all possible directions forever more and in constant flux with the universe with no concern for anything other than what is natural to her. I would reckon that we human beings have somewhere deep within us the same nature as this beautiful entity in which we all find peace and comfort. We are after all largely composed of the same thing as she is, water, yet for one reason or another we have pulled a veil over our eyes and convinced ourselves that we are altogether something else, that we are flesh and bone and therefore something more. Yes, but what is flesh and bone? It is merely also a derivative of the latter, and a much more recent one at that, for in its past it was merely all stardust and for much, much longer than it has been flesh or bone or water. And we scoff and laugh at this notion, we smile and chuckle at the thought, it seems too fantastical, too dream like, too unrealistic. Yet what we speak of here, it’s not as if this is hearsay or conjecture, my thought or yours. It is in fact hard truth and reality. We are in fact composed largely of water. We are the sea, we are the ocean and we are drawn to her precisely because we are one and she is our original mother and home. And her carelessness is what comforts us most, drawing our admiration, for in that brief moment that we are with her, gazing upon her, wishing we were one with her, we are comforted by her pureness, by her very being, which is the highest being, which is a careless being. In this moment we briefly find our higher self and all seems in tune once more. Our fears recede and our dreams are front and centre again and we feel like Zeus or Thor once more, able to smash our life and will into being as she seems to so readily and easily. She provides us with a glimpse, a tantalizing glimpse of our real nature, of our real self, our higher self and for this we are forever beholden to her. She speaks the language of the soul, not that of the mind.

            Sadly, we cannot set up a hut on the beach and live near the Ocean. We outgrew that part of our history and evolution long ago. We are of the world now and live in the world and that is as much reality as anything else, and that too is perfectly fine. The 'City' itself is a new Ocean for us to discover. Life has many forms and ways and we must find our way through them, hopefully to one most suited to each one of us respectively. However, as human beings we are also complex and complicated creatures in a complex and complicated world and it has become ever more easy to get lost in it and thereby lose ourselves in the process. This is not to disparage our modern way of life and being for it too is a natural state of things and a result of the process of evolution itself that we have arrived at exactly this point in our species history.  Still, we are suffering from an epidemic of epic proportions in which many of us today are not only unsure of our core self but have absolutely lost touch with or hope for contacting our higher self. We no longer traffic with this higher, purer, realer part of ourselves any longer, at least not in any meaningful way or duration.  We seem to be on completely different streets and paths. This is dangerous. Nowadays everywhere there are standardized lines and statements that have been made generalized truths and maxims of modern life: Be realistic or practical; pursue objective things; eschew the irrational; be safe and prudent; seek safety; avoid risk; etc.  There are a thousand others which I’m sure you or I could aptly call to mind. Imagine for a second however if every great person or being had listened to these generalized dictums? Imagine if they had stuck only to the realm of reality or practicality, or pursued the safe route instead of the dangerous one or didn’t think outside of the box or take risks that killed themselves or others but in the process elevated millions. What kind of a world would we be living in today if so? Without a doubt a dramatically different one than the one we inhabit now. What did they feel, these greats of history who went against the grain and defied every standard of propriety and prudence? Surely something different than you or I, right, but why? Why are there only a chosen few and the rest of us forlorn to normalcy and the law of the average? What if it is does not need to be as such for you and me? What if these brief moments of lucidity and insight and power that we all seem to have here and there are indicative of the potential for greatness in each and every one of us? I sincerely believe they are just that, but we kill them. We kill our darlings all too frequently because we have come to be told and to believe that greatness belongs only to chance and to a chosen few. That achieving a dream or living the dream is impossible and meant only for a select few beings, that it is impossible for me, for you, for the many. How is that so? Is not the universe and our world an overflow of abundance that can fill every dream and sate every appetite? Are the majority of us so incapable with all the incredible human potential and intelligence we retain of achieving our dreams? This does not make sense to me, nor does it seem to be aligned with the reality of an abundant universe and the unparalleled and unlimited power of the human mind and spirit. Reality, it is aptly said, is stranger than fiction. As you read this and you and I exchange thoughts via these words we are an immensely complex and intelligent biological specimen composed of billions upon billions of specialized cells themselves each immensely complex come together in a package with sufficient consciousness and intelligence to have developed such a language and medium of communication as this computer, this language and the internet to discuss this very subject and question and we are doing all of this while we float on a massive planet which is so small that it is not even a pinprick in the great expanse and darkness of a universe that ostensibly has neither beginning nor end.  Does all of this itself not seem absolutely unbelievable and impossible, the very definition of absurdity? And yet it is absolute and unequivocal truth and reality. Every single bit of it. And somehow we got lost along the way and our individual little dreams seemed to become bigger than us, bigger than all the aforementioned and too grand to actually achieve for you or me, simply too great and beyond our abilities as simple little beings. How could all of this, all of the world, the universe, life, all of you be possible, yet what you desire or dream in life seem so impossible and out of reach? Ponder on this for a moment.

            The beauty of life is that it never absolutely ends nor closes itself on us. Every minute is another chance to turn it all around. Every experience and opportunity will eventually come full circle again. One day, maybe today, maybe next month, maybe next year you will have a great dream again in which you are or are doing who and what you right now dream to be or be doing. One day soon you will be sitting by the water again as the Sun shines down on you and you close your eyes and for a brief moment feel at one with life and the universe and believe that all is and will be ok. One day soon you will have a great thought trickle across your mind, perhaps an inspired one that leads you to an insight that may well cure a disease or a solve a great technical problem or produce a beautiful little tale that may yield the world the next Iliad or Romeo and Juliet. One day, sooner or later, and in one moment in that day all else will leave your mind and you will for an instant feel that rare feeling of calm, poise, purpose and power reverberate through your very being in such a profound way that every obstacle seems to fall before it and the path and solution seems absolutely laid bare and your ability to achieve your dream or objective as guaranteed as your next breath. One day soon, maybe today, maybe after reading this, you will traffic with your higher self, albeit very briefly and for just a split second of time. It will come and pass quickly, as it has on many occasions for you and you will return to your normal life and your normal mode of thinking and shrug it off with a whimper and console yourself with drink and a thought that it was just that, a passing feeling or thought. We all do this, almost every one of us, almost every day for it is incredibly difficult to traffic with our higher self. It is higher after all for a reason. It is a great beast of immense power. It has and will lead to every great advancement of man’s life and our species’ evolution. It is the alpha and omega, the complete circle that brings life back around and forward a level. It is so great, like the Sun, that it is incredibly hard to handle and demands so much strength of us and a skin thick enough to withstand its scorching heat and fire. Regardless, moving forward, try to remember this: Nothing can come from nothing. When you have your next great thought or feeling, when you next traffic with your higher self, and it may be today or next year but it will come, remember that it comes from a real place within. Our natural response or thought when we experience this greater self is often that it’s just a phantom and not really us. However the truth is that it is in fact this very self which is man, which is you and not the other self which you occupy and express daily to the world and to others. That is merely a shadow of you. The next time you traffic with this higher self of yours remember that this is truly who you are, can be and should be. Next time you traffic with that gorgeous beast remember this and wrestle with it, grab it by the neck and draw it down, fight it with all your strength and being and subdue it until it agrees to stay with you. And this will take blood and pain but any beast as great as this with as much power as this is worth conquering and will require a great fight. The Roman’s used to write the term ‘Memento Mori’ on the tombstones of their kings and great generals. It means “remember that you will die.” We would do well to remember this regularly, and if you think it is a morbid thought then you have missed the point. We all will die one day, and that is quite fine for it is precisely because we know that life must end which makes it so incredibly poignant, beautiful and worth living. There is only one caveat to be had with this truth and that is to leave this world whilst you are trafficking with your higher self, for if you do it is quite likely that you leave it with a sated and satisfied soul that will spring abundance into the universe from where it originally came. The life you’ve always desired does exist and is still possible. You’ve just been travelling on the wrong lane and driving with the wrong self. Get onto the right lane the next time there is an opening, and there will be openings yet. When you do, you’ll realize just how truly powerful you are and can be and how possible it is to achieve whatever you dream of. Traffic with your higher self. Once you do, the world is yours.

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Latest comments

08.12 | 12:21

Good reflexions and philosophy
Thanks for your site

25.01 | 15:17

Profound with a lot of philosophical insights. I love the admonition of never abdicating the future. Thanks for sharing.

06.07 | 19:41

Wow, this is so beautifully written. Thank you for sharing. Love & Peace.

19.03 | 05:49

Amazing to read and thank you for some beautiful insights.

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